How To Get Out of Abusive Relationship |
Posted: July 24, 2017 |
Everyone knows that an abusive relationship can be mental and physical, but when you are in an abusive relationship it may be harder to see what’s going on because you have feelings attached to the situation. This is why outsiders can see it clearly where the person in the relationship thinks the abuser may just get better soon or that it’s not as bad as they think it is. If only they could see it from an outsiders view. When you stay in the relationship without taking action to stop the abuse then you are telling that person that there’s nothing wrong with what they are doing to you, and essentially that they can continue the abuse with no consequences. It doesn’t matter if you verbally say they are hurting you. If you stay there after they have hurt you than you are giving them permission to keep doing it by showing them you’ll keep taking it. I’ve seen many people in an abusive relationship and I’ve also seen them afterwards. They are happier and more at peace with their lives and everyone deserves to feel like that. This life is about feeling joy and being happy. Anyone who tells you life is meant to be hard and you are meant to suffer through it hasn’t realized that life is meant to enjoy and feel good in. Everyday should bring more happiness. Ever heard the expression ‘They were full of life’? Do you think that means full of unhappiness? No. It means full of joy. If your brain is telling you that you deserve to be abused, or that your life was meant to be this hard, then I want you to bypass your brain and listen to the truth that resonates in your soul. It will tell you that you deserve happiness and joy no matter what your brain thinks. Look around at sometime beautiful, something that makes you feel good, and you’ll see the truth there as well. There are 5 basic steps to get out of an abusive relationship. You have to be honest with yourself and see your relationship for what it is. It doesn’t make you a weak person to admit it. It makes you stronger and more independent to allow yourself to see the situation for what it is. If you feel bad in the relationship then that is not a healthy relationship. Happy relationships are easy and your partner makes you feel good about everything you do, and they do that every single day. If you are looking at it as something that will get better in the future, than you are taking the chance of being abused for a long period of time – for a small chance – that it might get better. The fact is it most likely wont. Like I said before, you are telling them it’s okay by staying. You may need to hear a few thoughts or read a few books that will resonate as the truth to you before you can admit that you are in an abusive relationship but if you have doubt find out. 2. Tell a friend or someone you trust. This is just adding on to step 1. It’s even more so verifying the fact, to yourself, that you are in an abusive relationship. If you tell someone close to you the chances are they already know you are being abused. Most people see it very clearly outside of the relationship. Admitting it to them allows them to offer help and an ear that you didn’t have before and they couldn’t give before. 3. Realize that you’ll be happier when you are out. When one of my friends finally admitted she was in an unhealthy relationship she had three kids and no job. She felt like there was no way she would survive outside of the relationship and that there was no way she could take care of her kids. She felt like she would be more miserable outside of the relationship. But now she’s living in a house with her kids and working at a good job – and most importantly she’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. Just because you leave the relationship doesn’t mean life will go downhill. In fact, it’s impossible to go downhill afterwards. Being alone and happy is a millions times better than being with someone and unhappy. It takes that leap of leaving to realize that though. 4. Make a plan to get out. You do need a plan to get out. Where will you go? What will you do? It will make it easier to leave knowing exactly what you are going to do. Using my friend again, she called a women’s shelter to discuss what she should do. They gave her a plan, things she needed to take care of first, and the feeling that it was possible. There are many organizations dedicated to this very thing and if you call them or go and see them they will help. They want you to be happy. If you have friends and family you can make a plan with them. Most of the time friends and family already know about the abuse and they want to help you. 5. Follow through with the plan. Once you figure out what you are going to do don’t stop moving along with the plan. Fear is a humongous emotion that has the ability to make us head in the wrong direction. Fear that you won’t survive on your own or that you’ll never be happier than you are now. Fear that your abuser will find you and make your life a living hell. Fear is just an emotion. It’s not reality. Your future hasn’t been decided by what you fear in this very moment. If I look back at all the times I was afraid of something I can see clearly that I was looking at the worst situation and that it never really happened. Remember that you are doing this to give yourself a better and happier life. One that you deserve. There’s so much happiness waiting for you on the other side. If you’re interested to read more relationships tips and advices, leave a comment below, sign up at loveawake.com, or find us on twitter @Loveawake.
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